Poker is BORING

Every so often a friend of mine tells me that he (or, on occasion, she) would like to go to the casino with me and watch me play poker. Sometimes they even do. (The technical term for this is “to rail”.) But they only do it once; and after having done so, they never offer to rail me a second time. And I’m not hurt by this dismissal, because I know exactly why they don’t want to come back:

Poker is BORING.

Excruciatingly, mind-numbingly boring. Stick-a-needle-in-your-eye-to-pass-the-time boring.

If you come rail me during a game, I can tell you exactly what you are going to see: You’re going to watch me fold every hand I’m dealt for an hour and a half. Then I’m going to play a hand where, possibly, I’ll put a whole bunch of chips in the pot. I’ll probably win the hand; or I might lose it. Regardless, after that hand, I’ll go back to folding for another ninety minutes.

If you watch me play a tournament, you might see me playing a few more hands. I've got to; in a tournament one just doesn't have the luxury of sitting around waiting for a big hand.

You’ll leave the poker room glassy-eyed, and likely with me still at the table. You’ll wonder how I could possibly spend ten or twelve (or more) hours straight doing this kind of thing. And I’d be happy to answer that question.

To me, poker isn't boring. Not in the slightest. In fact, it is riveting. There’s nothing I can think of (besides football) that’s more exciting to watch on television than ten or twelve hours of poker. I’m on the edge of my seat with the turn of every card. My mind is whirring at a thousand miles an hour, considering:

·         The math of the hand – who has the best chance of winning it at the moment, and why, and what cards could change the math on the next street.

·         How this information could (and should) affect how the players play the rest of the hand.

·         What the players might be thinking about their opponents’ holdings, and impact that could might have on the way they play their own hand.

·         How I would play the hand, and why.

·         How the hand could be played more effectively to extract more chips from the losing player.

·         How the hand could be played more effectively to minimize the loss to the winning player.

·         And an uncountable myriad of other concepts.

Sometimes I’ll even back up the recording and replay a street, or a hand, or even the entire episode, to make sure I haven’t missed anything.

Being at the table in person isn't that much different, although I have less information to go on because I can’t see the cards unless the players decide to show them. However, the stakes of paying attention to what’s happening are infinitely higher, because these are the players I will be going up against myself. That’s sufficient inspiration to maintain my attention.

It definitely takes a special kind to be a poker player.